I've been Internet dating for far too long so have built up a picture of certain types of blokes, I tend to be able to spot them a mile off nowadays, but back in the innocent early days I wasn't so clever (and to be honest even now I slips through the net as this blog shows!)
The thing with Internet dating is that we all look at the pictures on someones profile first before even thinking about what sort of person they are, what they want from a relationship and life in general. Some people don't have profile pictures, nowadays I don't even give them the time of day. There is no excuse not to have a picture on your p.c or phone. If you are capable enough to write your own profile, you can surely upload a photo- its not rocket science! But in the beginning (OK and sometimes now!) if someone wrote me a message and said they could send me a picture to my email address then I used to say okay. (apparently people don't want their friends to know they use theses sites! I think the real reason is something entirely different!)
So what tends to happen when I receive these emails I hear you ask? Well as with most normal emails you download the picture and it blows up to full screen size- and there in front of you is someones face that normally gives you the reason they have no photo on line- yep its Shrek in real life! Now I'm no model and I don't pretend to be stunningly beautiful but come on lads do you really think I will be interested in you!? I know we all want to aim higher but Jesus! Its demoralizing and Im then faced with the problem that they not only have my email address (I have now set up a seperate one with no attachment to my own real name!) but they also now want to know what you thought of their picture. Its so hard not to just say exactly ehat you think, because at the end of the day thats someone face and they have to look at it every day in the mirror. So you have to be diplomatic (not my strong point!) and just say Im sorry I dont think you are my type and hope they dont go all nutty on you and start insulting you!
Now there is another side to pictures that are sent on email or via text. Sometimes certain men believe you want to see other parts of their anatomy apart from their faces. Now I'm no prude but I for one don't find blokes willys remotely attractive! They are a practical performance related piece of kit, not a pretty object to photograph and hang above the fire place (although some guys I have met I'd love to hang said body piece around their own necks !) What you do with them is my concern, but I don't want to see their smiling faces on my mobile screen!
Some guy the other day took it upon himself to send me such pictures. His profile picture on line was a bit dark and not clear so when he offered to send some to me directly I agreed (stupidly) but pointed out I didn't want any rude ones. Okay to be fair the first 3 had a towel hanging off his dongle but I felt he had still overstepped the mark! I told him I wanted to see his face not his favourite part of himself! As is the usual trend this guy then started asking when he could meet me and tell me what he could do to make me smile . I pointed out to him he knew nothing about me and was obviously only interested in gaining more notches on his bed post. No he replied - I really like you. (he had no idea about me at all- he hadn't asked a single question about me except where did I live and when was I free!) So to prove his point that he was interested in me as a person he did what any bloke would do- he sent another picture! This time no towel hid his weapon - and as my friend pointed out (come on you guys must realise if you send a picture like that when we dont want it we will share it with all our friends) he must have spent hours polishing it ! You could see his reflection on it!
I ignored him after that for a few days, then one day he sent a text saying Morning how are you? Thinking maybe he had realised the error of his ways I responded "I'm good thanks how are you?" The replied came back as one word -"hard" And with that he proved I was right all along! Only one word to describe men like him "cock!"
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