Ghosts from the past

Every now and again a face from my past will pop up again. Some welcome, some not. Some have honest motives , others try to be clever and devious.
I am always happy to hear from people I have met or dated before.Well most of them anyway ! I am friends with a lot of guys I have met either from on line dating or from college, work, school, etc. Its good to catch up, share stories, a few drinks whatever.
But occasionally someone tries to creep back in with less than honest reason too. What makes these guys worse is the fact they blatantly lie about what the real reason is for them wanting to see me again.

Lets get this straight guys- "I am not stupid !! "

I may be forgiving, understanding and willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but I am not here just for your urges ! I am not here to scratch an itch  for you so to speak.
For instance, one such guy , who I had on previous occasion (sorry occasions !) forgiven for disappearing without a trace got back in touch out of the blue. This is how the messages went:


still think about u baby! I had to tell u that x
Fancy a coffee n chat later?

. What you been up to?

Not much really had the kids for half term just on way back now
U up for a coffee then? X

I dont know. had a late night last night. I get the feeling you just want somewhere warm to go!

I have somewhere warm to go babe just an idea that's all can do it another time if u prefer? X

So where did you disappear to last time you ceased contact?

I've been over (insert name of his exs home town)

all that time??

Jan n feb 

Another go at it with the ex then?

No we just kept it as easy as we could for the kids x (the fact that most of his kids live with his first ex elsewhere seems to have escaped him!)

So you stopped all contact with me overnight no explanation?

I never meant it to turn out the way it did I just had to sort my head out and felt that was the only way x

Fair enough. You can explain it all when I see you

Are u feeling the need to slap me? X

Don't know if I want to slap you

Ok should I be worried then lol x

I'm not violent person. My problem is I'm too trusting and forgiving

Is 8ish ok to come over? Can I push it and have a shower at yrs? Maybe even a bed for the night;) or am I really pushing it now? X

Your not staying. Sorry but no.

Ok look maybe I shouldn't of contacted you again sorry Bon take care babe x

You are more Than welcome round  for a chat but after you dropped me like a tonne of bricks last time I'm not jumping into bed with you the first time I see you. Surely u can understand that?

(silence)

Or were you just after a bed?

(silence)

hello ?

(silence)

there was me thinking you actually wanted to see me !

What an idiot ! He was obviously at a loose end and wanted some action. The minute he realises he isn't getting anything apart from a coffee he disappears into the sunset again. Well good riddance to bad rubbish. 

Lonesome Cowboy can just jog on !

If guys were just honest then life would be so much easier. But then who wants boring anyway?? Give me a man with some mystery any day. 

Eggs is eggs

In the film Runaway Bride , Richard Gears character Ike asks all of Julia Roberts character Maggie ex fiances how she takes her eggs. Each one of them says a different variation. She always ate her eggs however the man she was with ate them. Eventually at the end of the movie she discovers for herself  how she actually likes to eat them.
 I believe each and every one of us are like that. We say we never change, but in reality we all make small changes to be similar to our partners . We are like chameleons who adapt to suit their surroundings. I know I do.

In my time I must have supported several different football teams, West Ham, Spurs, Arsenal, Leeds, Chelsea etc. I even started developing an interest in Motorbikes, which has stayed with me even after splitting with the boy who got me interested in them to start with.  I don't think it makes me a different person, I think it shows I like to pay an interest in to what gets my mans heart racing apart from me.  Its not a major change, its just adapting to suit the environment and broadening my interests to be able to hold a conversation about his favourite team, player, or even the much discussed and misunderstood by women "offside rule" ! Its not that I want to become that person, their female double, its more about learning how they tick.

I would never go so far as to change my views or opinions on important issues, and I would never change how I act or dress etc unless it was something I wanted to do. Every time I have been on a diet it has been for me and not because a man told me I would look better slimmer. You have to love yourself for others to love you. If you don't believe in yourself how can any man see your inner goddess.  At the same time I wouldn't try and change someone to like everything I like. Its good to have seperate interests and differing opinions sometimes.  I wouldn't expect a man to try and change my interests, but it always helps if he accepts me for what I am, even if that is a bit kookie at times.

Where am I leading with this? Maybe to admitting a change of heart. I have always been a firm believer that distance does have a negative impact on a relationship. I have always dismissed any one who lives too far away. But as I have got older I am starting to realise its the time you spend together that matters not how far apart you live. Every one has busy lives, especially if you have kids and a job to hold down. So in the first stages of dating or a relationship it isn't always possible to meet up in the week after work. So if someone lives a few hours drive away it shouldn't matter. As long as you keep the lines of communication open, and you trust them and yourselves things can work out.

 You just have to go with it. Make sure when you spend time together you make the most of that time. Don't get distracted by the little things in life, open your eyes to each others worlds and try to bring the two together. If things work out then the future will adapt to suit you.

Besides a change of scenery is always a good thing!