Serious side to Bonnie.

Its been a while since my last blog. That's not to say life hasn't been interesting believe me ! But sometimes even this blogger wants to keep things private and not tell the world every detail of her life. But who knows maybe some time in the future I will share all with the world! I have to be careful as my parents read this !

"Will you ever come off the naughty step Bonnie ?"

Blogging about my dating life has certainly raised a smile on some peoples faces, and has helped me understand more about me, men and relationships. Its been fun looking back at some of the incidences and I am always conscious not to tarnish every man with the same brush. Because as you speak to more guys you realise some women out there are just as bad!

But then this blog can cause a few raised eyebrows. I don't tend to tell every guy I speak to that I write about my dating life. Some guys get scared off, but to be fair no one gets named (no law suits here!) and they only need to worry about being named and shamed so to speak if they do anything seriously out of line, or ridiculous! Although sometimes it worries me that ex boyfriends from my distant past will read this blog, recognise themselves and not be too happy about it being read by strangers ! Oh well ho hum - a woman scorned and all that!

But it is nice when I meet a new "match" to be able to come clean and let him appreciate my ramblings. Its great meeting someone with an open mind and who accepts that we all have a past, checkered or murky or squeaky vanilla clean.

 That's what makes us who we are now. We have all been molded, influenced and affected by even the smallest of details from life in general not just relationships. From parents to friends, we take on board everybody's actions and reactions to whats acceptable behaviour and what is not. I find myself ever aware now that as my daughter is approaching the age of 16 that life begins to change and pressures from peers can influence every decision she makes, good or bad. I hope that she feels able to talk to me about any issue or queries she has. I have always been open and honest with her and try not to preach too much on what is right and wrong in relationships. She has to find her own way and make her own mistakes to learn from. My own mothers statement of "shes only doing what you did at that age" will no doubt come back to haunt me !  I'm sure at some stage I will be repeating another one of my mums legendary comments to my own daughter "I'd rather know where you are then discover you been with a boy in a bush somewhere"
And yes I could have died with embarrassment when she said it !






Blimey that was deep for me ! So I shall leave you with a small tale I heard from a friend to lighten the mood and make you all smile:

A friend I know had a discussion with a boy she knew. He had met a new girl and things were rather serious. He mentioned she was a vegetarian and he was a bit put out by this. When asked why he replied "well she wont give me a blow job as she says no meat will ever pass into her mouth"

Reasons

The saying goes

"Some People come into your life for a reason."

I have recently noticed I can work out how and why I have entered other peoples lives, but I'm buggered if I can see why so many idiots, sorry, men have come into my life and what lessons I need to learn from them.
On more than one occasion, I have helped a young man find himself again, or get over a bad break up, or made them smile, or shown them what life is all about. But what exactly have these guys given me in return apart from heartache and a bewildering view on the male race!
The new let down statement seems to be "Bonnie you are too good for me. You deserve better"
Now surely that's my decision to make? If I deem you not worthy then so be it. But that's not your decision to make, and it certainly seems a bigger cop out to the old faithful "Its not you, its me".
Dam right its not me! I am loving and giving, funny but slightly mad, and a joy to be around- most of the time.
I keep having to tell myself it isn't anything I have done that sends these guys off back to their ex wives/girlfriends. Its just that they don't have a big enough pair of balls to move on with their lives and do something different. Jump into the unknown future, enjoy life with someone new. No, these boys (they aren't men) would prefer a comfy pair of slippers, the woman who they moan about or are bored with etc rather than a new exciting challenge. They would rather an easy life with someone who they can walk over, as these women are desperate to have them back as opposed to be lonely.

I do deserve better. I deserve a man who will stand up to me when I'm being ratty, and for me when I need defending. I need a man who will go that extra mile and not sit back and expect life to fall in his lap along with his dinner. What I need is an equal.
While I'm searching for him I will make sure I don't get fooled again. I wont put up barriers, that's not me, I wear my heart on my sleeve as you never know my match may be round the next corner. After two years of dating I am happy with my own company, I'm not desperate for just any Tom Dick or Harry. Believe me I seem to have found a fair few Dicks in my time recently! But I will be ready for my match, when he appears, and we will walk off into the sunset together, slowly but surely.