A Year in dating

Nearly a Year ago I started writing this blog about my dating life. Partly because I had so many stories I felt needed sharing to the world and writing a book was too daunting a task. But also as a means of me expressing my emotions and coming to terms with things. Its so easy to bottle feelings up that then overcome you. My wise father once told me to write things down. It may not solve the problem but it does help to release the emotion on to a piece of paper, or in this case the world wide web! Okay so some people can't understand my need to share my personal life to the World for all and sundry to read, but for me it works. In today's technology fueled world its the modern day equivalent to a diary!

This time of Year we tend to see lots of reviews about whats happened in the World over the last twelve months. Considering I haven't written about all my dates, the prospect of looking back is not done with a smile on my face! I consider myself to be quite a happy woman most days (excluding the hours I spend at work) but even I am struggling to raise a smile.
Okay, maybe I'm being  a bit hard on myself and all the Guys I have met. They haven't all been bad. The good ones know who they are as they are all reading this! Some how some of my past daters have evolved into a sort of support network around me. I find myself talking to them and asking their advise over the advise of friends. Maybe its because I feel they know me better than some friends, or maybe its because they are in the same boat. We all want to be happy with someone we love, who loves us back equally for all our faults. These great Guys know me and my faults.  They tell me when to man up, when to walk away, what to look out for, they pick me up when I am down and they laugh with me at my scrapes. And in turn I am there for them. Always ready to chat and lend an ear, like the equivalent of a long distance sharing of a bottle of wine  In my own way I love each one dearly. Otherwise I wouldn't still be in contact with them. It doesn't mean they are my fall back when I've been stood up, I do not look at them as my back up plan. They are decent guys who for whatever reason between us have just become good loyal friends. I honestly wish them luck in finding their life partners and wish them a full life of happiness.Although if they could set me up with my Mr Wonderful I will be eternally grateful!

So as I look back what can I say about 2012 ? Well there have been some winners and some losers. Some highs and some crashing lows. I don't regret anything I have done or written about. I have created some memories along the way, nice restaurants, days out, etc, and some of those memories will stay private to me till my dying day. In writing this blog some people think it gives them the right to mock me for my bad luck in love. I stand tall against those people who do not know the real me. Mock me all you like, to me it just means your own life is lacking in some adventure. Inside though I am probably hurting from your words so often said in jest, but that are actually very hurtful.

This time of Year is always hard for us Singletons. Christmas is all about family and loved ones. When that special person is missing from your life it can mean you feel very lonely. I find myself over emotional at the moment, and ready to burst in to tears at the slightest thing. Its like a bad case of Christmas PMT ! Some one need to rescue me with a years supply of chocolate, baileys and laughter before I let the wallowing in self pity take over. God help the next person who upsets me. Cover your ears for an almighty rant !

So now I just have to keep looking forward. Look over that Wintery horizon and make something happen in 2013. Its the last Year I will spend in my thirties so I need to compile a list of achievable goals. Places to see, things to do. I have tickets to a gig in February and I'm sure one of my guys will come with me if all else fails. A planned trip to see the Superbikes (motorbikes) with one is starting to be formed, so I already have some things to look forward to. I promise my blog will be with me all the way. 

Let the adventures begin !

Standing in the Car Park alone

So I have to admit I have been stood up twice. Ok not counting the " I'm not feeling well/ somethings come up" texts I have received less than 12 hours before a designated first date. They don't count. The are annoying mind you! But you get to realise the something that's come up is usually something men have in their trousers after some other girl has shown some interest in them! Its the law of averages- you win some you loose some!
So twice I have actually been left waiting for someone who isn't going to show up. For this reason I normally like to meet people in the car park as opposed to inside the bar/pub as you don't look like such a Muppet waiting for someone who isn't going to show up. I think its harder for a female to walk in a place she doesn't know on her own anyway. Even in this modern world  a pub is still predominantly a mans domain.
Let me set the scene for my embarrassing moment:
I was on line one Sunday afternoon and the weather outside was nice. I had spoken to this guy - lets call him Simon (cos that is his name according to his profile!) a few times previously but he then had vanished. The conversations had never been specific, he didn't ask anything about me or my life at all. So suddenly he pops back on and asks me if Id like to walk my dog with him that afternoon. I was a bit weary as I hadn't heard from him for a few months, and when he then asked when were my kids home (I only have 1 so shows how he paid no attention) I was quite blunt and said " I have to say it sounds like you want to meet up and then just go back to someones" . He got offended by this slightly and said "No, I just think its best to talk face to face". So I agreed to go on the dog walk, and got myself sorted out whilst I waited for him to pick me up. Now normally I wouldn't ask anyone to come to mine before I had met them somewhere neutral, but to be honest I couldn't be bothered to drive anywhere and it was on his way anyway.
So an hour later I'm still sat at home waiting for him to turn up. ( No this isn't how I got stood up- it gets better!) I send a text asking if he has got lost, thinking at the same time he has stood me up. The reply came back- "No I'm waiting at Bradwell for you". "Oh, I'm sorry I thought you were picking me up.Never mind I will grab the dog and drive down. Are you in the Car park by the Chapel?" "Yep that's the one" " I will be 15 minutes".
So I got the dog, jumped in the car and drove down there. I pulled into the car park and could only see Couples in Cars or empty Cars. Okay maybe hes waiting by the Chapel. So I get out the car with the dog and send the text "Are you waiting somewhere?" 
Silence- No reply
So now I start to think Ive been stood up. So I walk the dog and send a message that says
"Okay well done You sent me on a wild goose chase. Never mind at least the dog gets a walk"
and then for good measure another one 5 minutes later that just said
"COCK"
As I continue on the dog walk, my phone battery dies, and I try to not see the bad in every male of the population, or join the men haters of the world, when a sudden thought dawns on me
" Oh crap he knows where I live- what if he is currently robbing my house!"
I had to laugh- that would be just my luck!
When I returned home everything was still there (not that I have a lot worth taking ). But let this serve as a lesson to all (including myself, who I admit must have got a bit slack over the safety rules with this one!). Don't let any stranger know where you live- not everyone is as honest as yourself.