New Year New Horizons ?

Its been a while avid readers! Sorry for my delay in writing a new blog, although on the plus side that normally means my dating life is running smoothly! 

Well it was, but then here I am back again ! This time nothing dramatic, just a friendship that is best left as a friendship. 

So 2016 what will you have in store for me ? Probably much of the same as the previous Years! Already I have encountered the usual suspects. Guys who blow really hot and want to meet up, then vanish without a trace. Or the one that goes "Sorry babe got a few family dramas going on, I'm going to have to cancel out date" This "family drama" then makes them incapable of texting ever again. Seriously just be honest! Its easier all round and everyone knows where they stand. This line always leads me to think I must be superhuman. I have stress coming at me from all angles- Work, parents, and daughter of nearly 18 Years old who appears not to learn from her mothers mistakes (or listen to her advise !)  Yes I admit some days I just want to go home curl up in a ball and tell the world to do one whilst I cry my heart out. But that doesn't render me incapable of still going on dates or even replying to messages! I am woman hear me roar! 

So what gem of a story can I tell you today? What have we not heard before?

How about the one where I spotted an ex on Tinder . Nothing wrong with that except he is "supposedly" happy and settled with new kids since 2013 ! Out of fun I clicked yes and so had he !

Or the one where I received a message from a guy who's initial picture looked promising. Until you flicked to the second one which showed a her ! Turned out "they" were looking for a lady to start a relationship with together ! I politely replied to his message with a "I believe I have stumbled into something I don't want to be a part of thanks "

Or the one where when asked why he only had one badly taken out of focus photo on his profile he replied with "have you ever tried to take a photo of yourself?" Er Yes ! That's what reverse cameras & timers on smart phones are for! Or failing that if you are shockingly bad with technology why not ask a friend ! 

Or the guy who has as his only profile pic a naked shot of the rear of him . Or the guy who has taken a photo in his kitchen, using a full length mirror  which shows him sitting on a chair in just his pants and socks !!  Seriously !! 

Please excuse me whilst I curl up into a ball and hide ! 

Runners and riders in this weeks dating grand national

So I find myself throwing myself back on the mercy of the dating sites. I have always used the same two main sites, dabbled around on a few others, but stick to these as they are free and generally well known. Some of the same faces are still there, but then so am I ! So as usual it starts with a mixed bunch - one random first message from one guy just said
" can i bite you"

Oh he had me swooning off my feet! Jerk ! At least show some effort and make the i a capital I, and the use of a question mark would be good !


My heart sank at the memory of how many lazy,rude blokes there are out there. But I rallied on and made some progress. I shall list this weeks contenders and a few that have fallen at the first post already. As my daughter claims I must have dated a guy from every letter of the alphabet (and a few repetitions of the same name!), I shall refer to them by initials!

S. He started off okay, but was on shaky ground with his previous form- only recently left the wife, currently living with parents. But he seemed to have stamina to keep up with the pack. Lost a few places with his suggestion of a first date on a Saturday night (every where is noisy and busy). Last heard of heading into town to meet his mates 3 days ago. Appears to have fallen at a fence and been put down.

R. Couldn't tell much by looking at him, his head guard(baseball cap) covered most of his face or pictures were too dark. Seemed okay over the first hurdles and then hit the water obstacle and drowned. He appears to have a phobia of anything non alcoholic/noisy when asked what do you do on nights out. His response was " I go see mates in Kent and usually end up getting wasted, though I'm not really a drinker. I'm an old skool raver so prefer good nights out.......( blah blah raves this,raves that),.. raindance ... I'm organising a night to Brighton head kandi then go to a proper club for an all nighter"   This bloke is 44 Years old. To me he sounds like he is trying to be a proper geezer ! Not my cup of tea at all.

P. Slow off the starting blocks with a day or so between first few messages. Then discover his main job is as a wedding dj so is pretty busy most weekends doing that. Lost a few places on the race course due to this. He is a dedicated dad with his kids living with him Monday to Friday. This could lead to problems in arranging time on the dating track and may become lame. Outsiders chance at the moment.

J. Recent addition to the dating national. Had listed he wasn't in for the long race, more a sprint short burst with high activity peaks and no commitment in between. Odds completely against this runner.

M. Had previous form a year or so ago. Saw his form back then and looked like it had potential. Two good runs out and then disappeared from the scene. Reemerged back on the circuit and promised a good sturdy race this time. Even stated he would attend a meet tonight, but has not been seen by his jockey since noon today. A doctors note will be required for him to re join the pack

G. Great starter. Instant wow factor. Appeared to get along with the jockey very quickly. Showed excellent potential in training on Thursday and Friday. Continual updates on his whereabouts, paid a lot of attention. Did admit he had other friend commitments over the weekend and asked to have a first real date on Wednesday. He nearly went off course when he flashed too much of his stallion in a video message, but appeared to have had a case of nervous excitement, so was let off with a warning. But appears to have gone off track. Not appeared for training or checked in since Saturday early evening before he went on a cross country course. If appearance is made tomorrow is likely to be pushed to the back of the pack. A serious investor such as myself should not be kept waiting for days on end. He should be chasing me.

So there we have it. Not a great bunch to start with, maybe more of a donkey
derby than a grand national ! Think I need to get some better carrots ! 

Stone cold sober- or not

I admit chatting to someone for the first time can be nerve wracking. Its a selling game, you have to sell yourself, all your good points and cover over the cracks. Meeting in person can be an exciting nervous feeling- if you are at all interested in some one. I have found myself with butterflies in my stomach, or an attack of the giggles or frozen smile on more than one occasion. Those I class as good dates.

As we all know first impressions count. In truth with internet dating you only message someone if you find them attractive, and secondly if they seem genuinely to have something interesting to say.  Sometimes after a few messages or days the chat vanishes and we loose interest or move on to someone else. I never take this personally. Its just run its natural course of events. I'm sure I have done that to a few guys too.  The spark has to be there, and if the match burns out you cant re light it (bit like ex's really- maybe I should start thinking that simply when it comes to them !) There are also some massive easy do and don'ts when actually chatting to someone for the first time. Basics we all should know.
1.Use proper English and spell
2. Pay attention. - so you don't ask the same thing over and over again
3. Be up beat and happy- don't talk about ex's or how tough life is for you at the moment.
4. Don't communicate when drunk or under the influence of drugs.

Let me tell you an example of the last one:
Started chatting to a guy who looked pleasing to the eye. He had messaged me first so I thought Id see what he had to say. We exchanged a few simple joking light hearted messages on the dating site and then said I seemed fun and down to earth could he call me . Well I was bored at home so I gave him my number.
He called straight away. He seemed a bit nervous and kept laughing in middle of sentences. He didn't seem to have much of any substance to say and kept saying "yeah girl, yeah girl". The topic changed to the fact I had just had my bag stolen from my car and how when it was found all that was missing was £20. My phone, ipod, credit cards etc were all still there. I said I had a feeling I knew who did it and that she probably used my money to feed her weed habit. He replied "yeah babes well I have to admit I had a joint before I called you"

Don't get me wrong, that's up to him if he wants to do that.I certainly don't. But I suddenly realised that was why he was laughing and not making sense. He was saying things like "we been chatting for hours " when it had only been 10 minutes. Believe me it was the hardest longest ten minutes of my life!  He said he was nervous and never knows what to say or do around a woman. I politely told him having a smoke before making the first call was probably not a good idea.  I made my excuses and said goodbye.


I'm actually glad to say he hasn't been in contact since !