In the words of the dating dictionary and in my eyes the meaning of "going dutch" on a date is:
In dating, when both parties pay for their own bills, thus effectively dispelling the double-standard where men are always expected to pay.
"If you meet an intelligent, attractive and friendly woman who likes going dutch then you should hang on to her for dear life."
Years of dating experience has lead me to always offer my fair share of the rounds of drinks, or to offer to pay towards the meal. One friend of mine and my dad argue I shouldn't do this. I'm a female and if a male of the species has asked me out then I shouldn't even offer to by a round of drinks or anything. Now as much as I wish this was the norm, its not generally like that. I meet loads of Guys who complain about "money grabbing women" who just expect everything to be paid for and want to be treated like a princess.
I'm not looking to be treated like a fairy tale creature. I am willing and want to pay my way. But in some situations I expect the man to pay. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I expected too much. Read the below situation I found myself in and let me know what your opinions are.
A new match on line showed some interest in my profile. We exchanged messages and then progressed to texts. As it was the Christmas/ New Year Season I didn't expect to meet him straight away as everyone is busy that time of Year. So after a few days he said he would like to meet up but was it okay to wait a few weeks as Christmas had been expensive and he wanted to wait till he got paid so he could take me out for something to eat. I agreed, as I understand some times funds do get tight. (funnily enough I had two guys around the same time who mentioned lack of funds- but the other one is another story ! I'm still yet to meet him!)
In the meantime I suggested we could meet for a quick coffee date one lunchtime. That way if we don't like each other its only the cost of a lunchtime drink that has been spent. He agreed this was a good idea and we met that following weekend. All went well and we ploughed on with our meal date for the following week after his payday.
So the date night arrives. Due to the predicted snowy weather we met earlier than planned to make sure we weren't both out driving late at night. I had picked a nice restaurant, mid ground between us and not expensive. All was going well, although I did feel like I was being rushed by him to eat my food so we could both go home. Within an hour the food had been eaten , and one drink drunk each. So he then asks for the bill. This was placed on the table and he looked at me and said "well I wonder how much this will be?" Then continued to look at me as if he was expecting me to say something. I waited, and he just looked at me as he opened the bill in the middle of the table between us. I started to feel awkward and said " so how do you want to do this ? Do you want to go halves ?" Now this is where he SHOULD have said "This is on me". But what he ACTUALLY said was " Yes that would be good" I was slightly annoyed so replied with the words "So you want to go Dutch?" and with a slightly disgruntled look on my face. His response "Yes" So I dug my purse out and he then said "Tell you what You pay a tenner I will cover the rest" The whole bill was £34 so he hadn't exactly had to fork out a fortune! Then he only wanted to leave 50 pence tip- I was embarrassed by this so added a few of my own pound coins towards the tip.
We left the restaurant, parted in the car park with a peck on the cheek and I was home before the time I was originally due to meet him!
So was I right to feel put out? He had asked me to wait to meet him so he could take me out for something to eat. Surely if a man invites you for dinner that should mean he doesn't expect you to pay? This is why I try to stick to coffee or drinks dates! It becomes far too expensive for me otherwise! How would you have felt? Would you have expected him to pay?
