4 Dates 4 Guys

I normally have a simple approach to dating. Chat on line for a few days, week, trade phone numbers, text and then arrange a date.

Usually I do this one victim, sorry man, at a time. I do tend to chat to a few at once, but then when I meet one I like I then politely tell the other guys that I have met someone and think its only fair to just talk to them. The way I see it is that if they were that lucky guy they would be pleased to know he has my complete attention.
I decided a short while ago that maybe I was being too selective in this process and loosing out on the other interested parties. So I bravely decided to juggle 4 dates with 4 guys in 4 days.

Sounds easy- well not when you factor in the following:
1.Bonnie has a Goldfish brain-which could make for a few wrong names called, or details assigned to the wrong guy!
2. Two dates on one day.
3. Outfit changes and locations.

So first date, lets call him Mr A. We arrange to meet at a mutual convenient pub for a few drinks. I had already said I didn't want to eat as I always find this a nerve racking experience in front of a stranger. Plus if said stranger isn't what you expect you have to sit opposite them for longer than necessary  But at the last minute he asked if we could eat, and he offered to pay (with the added comment "Your turn to pay next time" which lost him a few brownie points).  The evening as a whole went smoothly, he turned up on time, dressed appropriately, was not rude, or too over bearing, but I left thinking there was something lacking between us. Maybe it was my fault, I don't always take a shine to men who are follically challenged- reminds me too much of my ex husband. I left myself to mull it over for a day or so.

Date 2- lets call him Mr B. Saturday evening drinks in a local pub. Date arranged and luckily he arrived early and realised the pub he meant wasn't the one he had said! So he informed me of his error and then waited for me at the bar. I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw and our evening went very well. We seemed to click and had a fair few things in common.Mr B was attentive, and I went home with the memory of a very enjoyable evening in my head.Considering it was his first date in a long time I thought he coped very well.

Date 3- Mr C. This date was organised for a Sunday lunchtime. Mr C lived nearer to me than Mr A or the future Mr D (who I was to meet later that evening). I arrived at the pub, spotted his work van and waited for him to get out. He produced a bunch of flowers for me (bonus points) but alas it seemed apparent that his photo on his profile was probably from about 5 or more Years previous, when he was a few stone lighter. Now I'm not one to judge on weight, so I continued to try and enjoy his company, but I found him very difficult to talk to and just couldn't connect with him. So after a couple of drinks we parted company. Unfortunately he was under the impression I liked him more than I did and I had to let him down about the possibility of meeting up again.

Date 4- Mr D. A Sunday evening drink in yet another pub. (Thank god I know a few pubs !). Arrived early and the pub car park was empty.Not a good sign. He arrived and unfolded himself from his car (tall tall for me !) and we went into the Pub. At the bar we were informed the pub closes at 9pm (It was 7.30) and to be honest I was releaved. We struggled to make conversation for an hour and nursed one drink. We then said our goodbyes and parted company.

So all the stresses of texting 4 Guys at the same time boiled down to just one good potential second date ! But it made for a fun few days of finding new locations for drinks and outfits to wear. If I had done those dates the normal way of one at a time I would have wasted a month meeting each one. So I suppose multi first dating has its bonuses !

Now where is my Mr B for our second date !

Stopping to smell the flowers

After a wonderful weekend, reality hits back by Tuesday. Its amazing how quickly we all get bogged down in the normality of work, food shopping, cooking, housework etc. I have come to the decision I need to slow down and stop to smell the flowers planted along my path.

I won't say too much about my weekend, I want it to stay as one of "our" special memories for now (plus I don't want to jinx things!). But I will say it was everything and more. We spent time just sitting and relaxing and enjoying the tranquility away from the normal rat race. It was idyllic, even the weather held off. I don't think I have smiled and laughed so much in ages. I can't thank him enough for whisking me away and spoiling me. Thank you (I know you are reading!)
But now its back to work and the usual hum drum days. I keep stopping and looking back at the weekend and giggling over a private joke or smiling at the memory of a certain moment. Its made me realise I am always in such a rush. I can be the most impatient person in the world. I have to slow down and enjoy each moment given to me. Life as we all know is far too short.
Relationships are always a rollercoaster. From the initial throes of giddiness and excitment, to the times spent apart pining for each other. The first steps can seem so tough, while you get to know each other and their traits. What they like, what winds them up, when its best to talk on the phone, or do they hate texting, pet peeves, when do you both decide to come off dating sites or announce your new relationship status. But its all a learning curve. I know I'm impatient, I can talk/text too much, I have a small paranoia streak and a normally well hidden small fear of rejection and loneliness. But on the plus side I'm always there for someone, I listen, I'm very caring, I giggle and I try not to take life too seriously. I always find myself worrying about how I come across. I need to just stop and remember that everyone is human. I'm not supposed to be a superstar or expected to be blessed with hidden powers that mean I never do any thing wrong. I am an individual - I'm unique- just like the white Peacock we saw, and I shouldn't be trying to blend in, I just need to be me. We all make mistakes and we all have a past. Its how you enjoy the present and each others company that matters.

 I do believe though that relationships get harder as we get older. Not only do we all have more things to juggle (Kids, sports, mates, work etc) but we also have past experiences we judge people and relationships on. When you're a young teenager in love life is relatively easy. As you get older we tend to get worried about being hurt (can I do this again? Am I too old etc), or is someone lying to us, hiding a secret family, a massive debt, or playing the field. You lay your heart on the line each time and pray that no one will break it.

 So from here on in I promise to take each day as it comes. I'm going to look forward to more good times because I know they will be coming. But I'm going to pay attention to the here and now.  Now is the time to learn about each other, the small things that matter and how to control my worry of rejection.

I'm taking my time to stop and smell the flowers!